swimming through the moments with my head just above the water. running out of strength to keep my head above. so I’ll take a break and sink for just a bit. feel the weight of it all and the weight of nothing all at once. remember that I have to come back up. take a breath. kick my legs. look up. Remember the sun and the warmth it brings. These are only moments and it’s okay to sink sometimes.
Love and growth and motherhood and being alive is hard, exhausting, a blessing. All wrapped up in the word existence.
Laying here and feeling my chest pound with my baby boy laying on my arm, listening to his breath. In and out in and out. The sweetest human in the world. The biggest gift to be his mother. That he chose me. We chose each other. Our souls decided to come together and sign the contract of this lifetime. I’ll always come back up for air for him. Always. Never will the sinking get too low I can’t find my way back up. He’s the reason to breathe and blow bubbles and laugh and try my hardest to smile and laugh even when my heart feels like it’s cracking and withering. When I look at him I’m reminded of love. Of life force. Of true joy. True strength. Happiness. The world in his eyes.
etherealhazy